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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?